I belong to a kind of mastermind group in which we read each others blogs. We are critical and those that make the grade get a leg up by having all of us comment and submit the good stuff to social media sites. I read Growing Older Disgracefully this morning. Since I write here about coaching and self care, this post really made me think. Some of the comments gave me pause too. Maybe in part because this year has passed so quickly and so much less was done than I wanted to achieve.
One of Corrine’s readers left a comment about her Grandparents over 90 years old and their life and regular comments. Corrine wrote about helping others in need and how they were not likely to object due to our age. We are never too old to help someone in need.
This made me think about how much time I might have left if everything goes perfectly. It won’t no matter how much I think it will. But my attitude about it will determine how well I recover and what happens during any therapy or treatment I need. What ever happens, it will cause expense, inconvenience and new stresses.
My Father at age 75 needed open heart surgery to receive 4 coronary bypass grafts. They asked him to participate in a study using “robotics” to do part of the surgery. It was new at the time and after surgery he had several complications. He never complained, he just told his Doctors – do it – lets move forward. He never flinched from what ever he needed to do. He recovered completely even though the mistakes made required two more surgeries that opened his chest and prolonged his recovery. I never heard him complain, he was always grateful.
Now, don’t think my Dad is a gentle Saint. He isn’t. He is a tough, pragmatic realist and can be very critical and quick to anger. He just believes in moving forward. There are things he could do now to make things smoother for others and I know he isn’t going to do it. I want to be able to follow that example of lets get this done.
Right now when I look at the symbol of the circle with self care at the center, I realize my Dad was willing to shine as much light as possible into caring for his health. He knew that without it, nothing else much mattered.
Right now, look at the 12 areas in the circle around self care. Mentally rate the amount of light between zero and ten in each area with 10 being the most possible. Maybe you should write these numbers down. As you look at the area and number, does one strike you as needing more light? Is there one area you know you want to illuminate more but have put it off. What if my Dad had said, I don’t want to have this done. He could have! He could have said I am 75 years old and this isn’t fair. He could have just stayed home in his chair and suffered and deteriorated.
Think about what YOU want and need in your life now. Think about what you are going to do about it. Are you going to take some action to add a little more light where you want it. Don’t think of what you “need” to do. That is doing what you think others expect you to do. Where do you need more light? Do you need to improve your health? Your diet? Your spiritual life? What actions will do this? What needs to be done first?
I work as a coach with many people who want to lose weight. Diet and exercise is always their focus and the areas where they have failed over and over. As I have them look at their strengths, victories and challenges, we usually find things like not going to bed early enough and chronic fatigue from lack of sleep a big problem. Correcting this makes them much more able to do more of what they want and surprising to them, they begin to lose weight with just this one change and they begin to feel like “they can”.
This busy season is not built to help us succeed. It is one that runs us ragged, stresses us and tempts us to just “Give up” to say “What the Heck! I have already flubbed – I may as well just enjoy the food and over eat. I will never change!” Think about what you want. If you need help, think about hiring an expert in exercise, diet or coaching (like me) to help you better illuminate your life and better care for yourself so that “old age” isn’t a time of complaint and regret.
I posted part one of this 3 part series on my blog Get the Skinney. I am discussing self care and as part of self care, analysis of the light illuminating 12 different areas of your life. Catch part one on Get the Skinney ( I posted it there because more people subscribe to that blog, but the content is more appropriate here) This session we will look at light in your health habits and explain to you the coaching process.
If you hire a coach are you hiring an expert to tell you want to do? I don’t think any coach will agree that is true. Particularly not in my form of coaching. You are the expert and know your needs and wants and desires.
What you might be lacking is a process, power and accountability. You need to be facilitated, you need to learn a process and you need to think differently. You aren’t broken, you are on a journey. Do you have the resources you need? Are you heading in the direction you intend? Why this direction over all the other 359degrees on the compass? Does it bring you peace? Are you making progress?
Listen to what Coaching for Personal Empowerment has to offer you. This is part one of three parts.
